Step 1: Accept the Decline of American Primacy (But Only in Theory)
To truly think like an American, you need to start by acknowledging, deep down in a place in your mind that you don’t often visit, that the era of uncontested American primacy might be over. This doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud, of course. It’s like acknowledging that your favorite pair of jeans no longer fits—painful, but necessary for growth.
After World War II, America enjoyed being the global Schützenfest König, but now it feels like someone else might be taking the crown. Realistically, politicians, businessmen, and government officials need to adapt to this new reality, but the average talk radio listener or Fox News viewer can still remain in blissful ignorance.
Step 2: The New World Order is Now Vintage
The first President George Bush spoke of a “New World Order” after the fall of the Soviet Union. That new world order is now about as fresh as a 1990s Deutschmark. What’s going to replace it? Nobody knows, and that makes Americans uneasy—like when you realize the Wi-Fi is down and you might actually have to talk to people.
Step 3: Outdated Beliefs and Cognitive Dissonance
The sacred American belief that it was in everyone’s best interest to remake the world in The United States’ image can no longer survive. The reality is that the world has changed, and the U.S. is now a power among many others. Some Americans have accepted this, but many fall back on isolationism and think, “We’re too good for them, our American God is the one true God, and the nostalgic version of mid-century America is the best timeline.” It’s the geopolitical equivalent of believing that the 1960s US situation comedy “Hogan’s Heroes” was a documentary series.
Step 4: Grieving the Loss of Superpower Status
To cope with this shift, Americans might be entering the Five Stages of Grief over the loss of their superpowers. Here’s what that looks like:
- Denial: “We’re still number one! Look, we even have the best cheeseburgers!”
- Anger: “How dare other countries think they can be as powerful as us? Have they seen our blockbuster movies?”
- Bargaining: “Maybe if we just build a few more aircraft carriers, things will go back to the way they were.”
- Depression: “Great, now we’re just another country. Might as well binge-watch reality TV and eat an entire tub of Oreo ice cream.”
- Acceptance: “Okay, fine. We can coexist and negotiate. But we’re still the coolest nation, right?”
Step 5: Embrace the New Geopolitical Reality (But Don’t Talk About It)
Eventually, the U.S. and its collective unconscious will have to accept a new geopolitical order where the U.S. is one of many equals. This means learning to coexist and negotiate on issues that can’t be dealt with in isolation, like climate change, pandemics, and international trade.
But if you really want to think like an American, realize that this shift is not to be spoken of, except in the strictest confidence. Instead, focus conversations on less emotionally charged topics, like sexual practices or religion. Yes, it’s that serious.
